


Like a Deer in the Headlights

by MurderKitWrote



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Canon? what Canon, Dick Grayson is Robin, Gen, Joker origin AU, My First Work in This Fandom, Some Horror Themes, This Was A Dream I Had, also some humour so take that as you will, bane is mentioned more in passing than anything else, canon has been taken out back and shot like a lame horse, joker centric, joker is constantly a Big Fucking Mood in this fic, langauge because i dont know how not to swear, robin is a BAMF, so please be gentle with me, too many unnecessary commas and semi colons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 16:06:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14957783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MurderKitWrote/pseuds/MurderKitWrote
Summary: Jack has a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.ORBane is up to no good, a bridge may or may not collapse, and a group of four unlikely heroes (and villains) are thrown together when Gotham shits the bed spectacularly and accidentally create the Joker.(The Joker origin AU you never knew you needed.)





	Like a Deer in the Headlights

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Deathbeds by Bring Me The Horizon.
> 
> God. Okay. So this is my first ever fic on the AO3, and I might be shitting myself just a bit. And yeah, if you read the tags then this really was a dream I had. No word of a lie, I woke up in a cold sweat at 6:20am like "WHATTHE FUC K???"  
> So I wrote it.  
> I think it turned out okay, but if I am horrifically, embarrassingly, wrong (which I am prepared to be) then please don't hesitate to let me know. Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated.
> 
> I'm like, 80% certain Dick didn't use escrima sticks as Robin, but what can I say? I've shot DC canon in the head & harvested all the usable organs.
> 
> Also, I am very sweary by nature and for that, I am extremely sorry (no I'm not).
> 
> Anyway, here's wonder wall.

It goes like this. Batman dodges Bane's attack- barely, and throws himself to the side, catching himself on the metal catwalk railing. He swings his legs under and up, and begins crawling along the underside of the walkway. His cape flutters beneath him, jagged ends trailing off into an uncertain abyss. He ignores the chasm; moves faster instead. He can't fail. Not this time.

He can hear Bane catching up to him, slowly, unhurried. Footfalls heavy and loud and _deliberate _on the latticed floor. That sets his teeth on edge; if Bane isn't worried then the bat definitely should be. He dares to think that he might reach the charges in time, that he won't fail yet. But he is young and naive, and the world cuts off in a clamour of angry sound and heat before he can finish his thought; swallowed up by colour.__

 

__

__

__It goes like this. It's cold and it's night, and it's raining like it's the end of the world. Jack's in the back of a cop car, and he's none too happy about it. The cop that picked him up for sleeping rough is unfairly chipper, though._ _

__

__"There's a shelter not far from here, I can drop you off. At least you'll be out of the rain," the cop smiles at him in the mirror._ _

__

__Jack's just miserable. He looks at his sodden beige suit, ruined now, for all that it matters. He's clear across the city, and now he'll never make it to that job interview on time. He watches the rain lashing down, watery whip marks on an unrepentant city. Jack hates this place, hates this city. It has crime seeped into its bones. Evil in its belly. There's a demon masquerading as a bat, stalking the skyline at night. He doesn't know why anyone stays._ _

__

__The police radio crackles to life, prying Jack out of his thoughts. He only catches maybe every other word, but the officer hears enough to switch lanes sharply._ _

__

__"Sorry about that, we've got some trouble on Arkham bridge. I'm the only one anywhere near," the officer says, genuinely apologetic._ _

__

__He's probably not long for Gotham City. Too nice. Too good. Jack shrinks in his seat, his night going from bad to worse with that one sentence. Arkham is synonymous with crazy. And Batman. Jack isn't overly fond of either. Jack would very much like to be anywhere but here. He has a strange feeling that he is no longer in control of his own life; that he's just along for the ride. The cop swings a left, onto Arkham bridge. They get maybe ten metres across, visibility shot to hell in the torrential rain, before they hit a roadblock, literally, and Jack jerks forward against his seatbelt. The officer swears. The rain pounds down onto the windscreen. Jack hears an unholy chorus start up in his head. Something very, very bad is about to happen, he's sure of it. He has an uncanny sort of instinct about these sorts of things._ _

__

__In front of the roadblock they've bumped into, a commotion is stirring up. A blonde girl darts into view, half drowned and wielding a baseball bat. She's laughing while two officers train their guns on her, and for a minute, Jack and the cop just stare. The air around them seems to come to life and crackle with electricity and foreboding promise. Naturally, that's when the explosion hits. It rocks the whole bridge ahead of them, and Jack watches with wild eyes as the structure that holds them disintegrates, and both the officers and the girl are swallowed up into nothingness. The car jerks forward, now teetering on the edge of a blown-out bridge. Jack holds his breath, and for a moment, everything is still._ _

__

__"Okay. Okay. We're okay. Lets just carefully-" whatever the officer was about to say, its snatched away as another explosion strikes behind them._ _

__

__"Shit! They're blowing both sides of the bridge," the officer panics. He opens his door, already half out. "Run!" he shouts._ _

__

__Jack doesn't need telling twice. He wrestles out of his seatbelt and goes for the door, but he can't open it. Of course. He's in the back of a cop car. Of course, the back doors are child locked. He looks to the officer, but he's already gone, and then, without so much as a warning, so is Jack._ _

__

__The car hits the water and begins filling up immediately. He hits desperately at the window, knowing it won't break and yet hoping it will anyway. It's been not even half a minute and the water is already chest height. He thinks that he might die here, tonight. Then, the door is forced open and he's being pulled under and out. Caught up in the water, his world flips over and around numerous times before a strong hand grips his arm and yanks him up. He breaks the surface. Gasps. Treads water._ _

__

__He's dragged bodily to land, where he coughs and coughs, and then turns over and lays flat out on the ground. A woman clad in a skin-tight black _something _stares down at him, latex slippery and shining, backlighted by the moonlight.___ _

__

____"Thanks," he says because generally, that's what you say when Catwoman saves your life. She grunts, and then whips her head around as a woman practically falls through some plant life._ _ _ _

__

____"Fuck," the woman says, which seems fair considering the situation. She gets back up to her feet and assesses the two before her. Overhead, the remnants of the Arkham bridge groan. There's a tense stare off._ _ _ _

__

____"Well I don't know about you, but I think we should move. The bridge could come down at any second, we need to get up to the road." the woman begins to turn and start climbing, and Jack shares a look with Catwoman, who clears her throat. The woman spins on her singular high heel, considers it, and then decidedly kicks it off._ _ _ _

__

____"Lois Lane. Journalist," she says, hand out. Catwoman does not shake it._ _ _ _

__

____"Selina Kyle. Criminal," she says, and then looks at Jack._ _ _ _

__

____"What?" he asks, "Oh, I'm Jack. Just Jack."_ _ _ _

__

____"Well, just Jack, if you can walk you better do it now. That bridge isn't going to hold out much longer." Lois Lane says. She holds her hand out to him instead. He takes it, and she hauls him up, and they begin the ascension back to civilisation._ _ _ _

__

 

__

____ _ _

__

____They get to the road that Jack had been on not an hour before, now a sharp drop off to nowhere. Around them, chaos reigns. Someone is cradling that crazy blonde girl from before. She looks quite dead and Jack is oddly drawn to it._ _ _ _

__

____"Holy apocalypse, Batman," Lois mumbles, and privately Jack agrees._ _ _ _

__

____Where are the ambulances? The fire trucks? The squad cars? Granted, half the city's police force is now mangled at the bottom of Arkham bridge, but it's like there's been no emergency response at all. Jack spots multiple fires on the horizon, and then he is filled with the certainty that this wasn't the only bridge to go. The three of them stand there in the pouring rain, as the extent of the situation hits them. There's probably not a bridge out of Gotham left._ _ _ _

__

____Jack thinks he might have just sat down on the road to die if a car hadn't pulled up just then. The Bentley's passenger window winds down and an elderly man leans across from the driver's seat._ _ _ _

__

____"A lift, Miss Kyle?" he says, notably British._ _ _ _

__

____"Alfred, you are a God-given gift," Selina says, reverently._ _ _ _

__

____"It has been said," he replies drily, and they all pile into the back of the car._ _ _ _

__

____Selina gives an address, and Alfred turns on the heated seats, and Jack thinks he might love the man a little bit._ _ _ _

__

____"I must say, I'm very surprised to see you here, Miss Lane," Alfred says as he navigates rubble and the occasional panicked pedestrian._ _ _ _

__

____Oh god, do these people all know each other? Jack slumps down into the warmth of his seat, pulling his jacket lapels up._ _ _ _

__

____"I was in Gotham on a lead, and when head office got news of some trouble on Arkham bridge, they sent me to cover it," she says, wringing her hair with her hands. "Any idea who it was, by the way?"_ _ _ _

__

____"Sorry, Miss Lane. Haven't a clue," He replies, in a way that makes Jack think he very much does have a clue._ _ _ _

__

____He watches the man carefully, but Lois just huffs and crosses her arms. Jack feels terribly out of the loop._ _ _ _

__

____"And who might you be, young man?" Alfred asks, meeting Jack's eyes in the mirror. Jack looks away._ _ _ _

__

____"He's just Jack, apparently," Selina says._ _ _ _

__

____Alfred makes a noise that suggests that he is in no way pleased about that information._ _ _ _

__

____"No last name?" he inquires._ _ _ _

__

____Jack shakes his head. He hasn't had a surname for a very long time._ _ _ _

__

____"Hmm. Well, I'll let it be, I suppose. Miss Kyle, we have arrived," Alfred pulls the car up to a large townhouse._ _ _ _

__

____Selina leans over the front seats and gives the man a kiss on the cheek._ _ _ _

__

____"Thank you, Alfred. Keep me updated, will you?" she says, warmly._ _ _ _

__

____"As much as I can, Miss Kyle," Alfred pats her arm a little awkwardly; like he doesn't usually engage in anything so physical, and then they all climb uncertainly out of the car._ _ _ _

__

____"Come on. You can catch your breath here," Selina says to them.___ _

__

 

__

______ _ _ _ _

__

______The inside of the townhouse is modern, slick and shining, all sharp edges and monochrome appliances. Selina leads them to the kitchen, where they drip all over the tiles while she hunts down some towels._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______"What were you doing on the bridge?" Lois asks, eyes sharp. Jack fiddles with a loose thread on his jacket._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______"Nothing much," he says, eyes down. Maybe Selina won't tell her that she pulled him out of the back of a submerged squad car._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______Selina comes back bearing towels, effectively ending the conversation, and Jack takes one from her gratefully. He and Lois begin to towel dry their hair, and Selina takes something from a pouch on her belt._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______"What's that?" Lois asks._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______Jack is beginning to understand why she is a journalist. She's nothing but questions. Selina waves her away._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______"Just a little something I stole from Enchantress," she says, voice smooth._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______Lois and Jack crowd around Selina as she boots up her laptop on the kitchen countertop. She immediately begins doing something incomprehensible, though and Jack quickly loses interest. He wanders over to the other side of the kitchen and stops dead when he is greeted by a great metal vat in the far corner. It's blocking a door and Jack thinks it's a little bit important._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______"Don't touch that," Selina calls over to him without turning around._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______He sighs and sits at the kitchen island instead, eyeing the vat warily. For a while, Selina and Lois argue over whatever it is Selina is doing on the laptop; until they are interrupted by the doorbell ringing._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______"Get that, will you?" She calls over her shoulder, and Jack nods even though she can't see him._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______He goes out into the hall a little apprehensively and cautiously opens the door. A woman with short blonde hair immediately pushes past him, dragging a child in her wake._ _ _ _ _ _

__

______"Sorry," the kid mutters as he passes Jack, who kind of just stops and gapes for a moment, because that's _Robin, _the boy wonder.___ _ _ _ _ _

__

________Eventually, he shuts his mouth and the door and reenters the kitchen, where the woman is brandishing the child like a prize._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________"Look who I found," she says, gesturing wildly at the not at all inconspicuous caped kid kicking at Selina's floor._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________"Holly. What have you done?" Catwoman stops typing and turns to her assumed friend._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________"Come on, I just found him all unconscious on the street, I couldn't leave him there, he's like twelve," Holly reasoned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________"Actually, I'm-" Robin stops himself from giving his age away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________"Yeah, whatever boy blunder, I royally saved your ass back there," Holly grins._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________Robin mumbles a very reluctant thank you, and Selina sighs the sigh of someone who has to put up with things like this on a regular basis._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________"Sit tight kid, and I'll try to get ahold of your dad," she says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________"He is _not _my dad," Robin retorts, which, wow, Jack isn't going anywhere near that with a ten-foot pole.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________Feeling a bit awkward, and horribly out of his depth, Jack wanders over to the forgotten artefact Selina apparently stole from Enchantress. Behind him, Robin resolutely switches on the tv and sits down to watch the emergency broadcast. He looks at the odd, vaguely jar shaped thing, inky black and whispering. Has it been whispering this entire time? He doesn't know._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________He probably shouldn't, but. He does. He picks it up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Uh, guys," he says, his voice without inflection._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Jack," Lois says carefully, "Put it down,"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"I can't," he says, his voice pitching a bit higher. "It's stuck."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________The three women surround him, and Selina attempts to wrench the jar out of his hand. It doesn't budge. Out of the corner of his eye, Jack sees Robin climb onto the island and slide an escrima stick out of his belt. This is very Not Good. This is probably the pinnacle of Not Good. The artefact begins to shake violently in his hand, which is even worse, and Selina takes a step back. Lois and Holly do the same, while Robin shifts forward._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Stay back Robin, you don't want to tangle with the arcane," Selina says ominously, and Robin takes out another escrima stick._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________The whispering emanating from the jar-shaped thing increases, and cracks begin to spiderweb around the lid._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"That's not good right? Selina?" Holly shakes Selina's arm._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"If that lid comes off, then no. Probably not," she says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"What did you say that thing was, again?" Lois asks, a little hysterically. Robin shifts on the island, staring Jack down with those sightless white-lensed eyes. Jack shivers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"I didn't," Selina replies, putting an arm in front of Lois and Holly, propelling them back a little further, "But the intel I've gathered suggests that it's probably the souls of one hundred evil men."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Oh, nothing too bad, then," Lois says sarcastically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Um," Jack says, intelligently. The cracks spread further around the lid._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"What's in the vat," Robin asks, calmly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________Selina considers this for a moment and then says,_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Throw it in the vat,"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Will that work?" Lois questions, but she's shushed immediately._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________Jack nods and swallows thickly. He's feeling very sick all of a sudden. He makes his way to the vat slowly, holding his breath. No one takes their eyes off of the thing in his hand. He looks at Selina, who looks at Robin, who nods. Jack steels himself, closes his eyes and then plunges his hand into the vat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________It is so very extraordinarily painful, and he clenches his teeth as Holly and Lois let out a shout._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"It's not working," he spits out between shut teeth, "I still can't let go."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________He doesn't add that he also thinks his hand is now skinless, but the horrible burning smell probably clues everyone in. Holly looks a little green around the edges._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Selina," Robin says, creeping to the edge of the island, "what happens if the souls break free?"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Possession, probably," She admits. Holly lets out a hysterical laugh, and Lois' jaw sets firmly. Robin puts away his escrima sticks and takes out a Batarang._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"What about amputation?" he asks._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"What?" Jack near shouts, "You're not chopping off my hand, Jesus fucking Christ!"_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"That could work," Selina agrees._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________Robin shrugs, and Jack feels his vision closing in. He has surpassed peak panic levels, and his hand is now strangely numb. He feels realisation washing over him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Listen," he starts, and everyone's attention snaps to him immediately. "I think I'm done for."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"No, look, we can stop this," Robin says adamantly, despite all evidence pointing to the contrary. Jack shakes his head. He feels oddly calm. Like nothing can hurt him. Like he's indestructible._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"It's either me or you," he states, resolute._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"You don't know that," Lois reasons, the same time Selina says,_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"It's really not."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________But Jack is past all of that. He hears what the voices are whispering to him now. It's nothing good. He hooks his ankle over the lip of the vat, and everything seems to happen at once._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________Holly, Selina, and Lois all cry out, and Robin catches Jacks wrist to pull him back. Jack looks at the small figure in red and green, so good, and so small, and he yanks his hand out of the child's grip and propels himself into the vat in one smooth motion. There's not even a second, not even time to think until he goes under and he closes his eyes to it all._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

 

__

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________It goes like this. Back in Selina's kitchen, all four are still staring at the vat in shock. Robin shakes himself loose first._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"What did you say was in that vat?" he asks again._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________Selina shakes her head._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Nothing he could survive," she says a bit thickly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Who even was he?" Holly asks shakily._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"I don't know. I rescued him on Arkham bridge. He was drowning in the back of a cop car."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________Everyone falls into silence at that, still staring at the still vat. they hear a bubble pop. There's a collective wince._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"I think now would be a good time to call my dad," Robin says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"I thought he wasn't your dad," Holly teases, but her voice is hollow._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________Selina moves to her laptop. Lois sits down at the island, heavily. A hand appears at the top of the vat. In not even a blink, everyone is on their feet and at attention._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Jack?" Selina calls._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________Robin slides his escrima sticks back out. A pained groan emanates from the vat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"I thought you said he couldn't survive that," Lois says accusingly. Selina glares._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"He shouldn't have been able to," she answers._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________"Selina, I'm going to ask you one last time. _What is in that vat, _" Robin orders, his voice cold.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________Selina shifts uncomfortably._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"I'm not exactly sure. I stole it from this warehouse a couple of nights ago. It's some weird type of acid. I've never seen anything like it," she admits._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"Why aren't we helping him?" Lois interrupts, gesturing at the lone hand that grips the edge of the vat like a vice._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"Right," Robin says, "Selina and I are the only ones suited up so we'll pull him out. You two stay back."_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"I'm fine with that," Holly says, backing up against the far side of the kitchen._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________Selina and Robin approach warily. Robin grabs a chair from the island and pulls it to the vat. He stands on it and peers in, and then immediately recoils._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"Fucking hell," he says._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"Langauge," Selina says, emptily. she gets her own chair._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"Fucking hell," she says when she too looks into the vat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________The contents are lime green and rippling, little bits of skin floating on top like seafoam. Jack's red, chemical burned arm grips the top of the metal container, holding his head just barely above the acid. His hair is coated green and his face is just as red and burnt as his hand. He looks up at them, his eyes bloodshot._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"We're going to help you, okay Jack? We're going to get you out of here," Robin says, extending a gloved hand into the vat._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________Jack reaches out with his other hand and takes hold. Selina grabs him under his arms and they haul him out, and he goes crashing to the floor; chest heaving. He's naked, and there are little bits of his beige suit melted into his flesh. His wet hair drips green onto the floor. The artefact is nowhere to be seen, and everyone lets out a sigh of relief._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"Hey, Jack. We're going to get you to a hospital, alright?" Robin crouches down next to the man, who lets out a breath of soundless laughter. He shakes his head, still gasping._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"I'm sorry," he says and then laughs again. Robin shares a look with Catwoman._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________"It's just so funny," he giggles._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________He leans his head on his folded arms and laughs loudly. Robin looks at Catwoman again and backs away a little. On the floor, Jack laughs still. He's just thought of the _funniest _joke.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: https://grotes-query.tumblr.com/


End file.
